Crafting the right tone for your cold outbound
Imagine receiving two cold emails: one that reads like a stiff, automated message, and another that feels like a thoughtful note from a like-minded peer.
Which one would you respond to?
The secret to winning new pipeline—and revenue—through cold outbound is not just about what you say, but how you say it. The right tone can make the difference between an email that converts and one that lands in the digital graveyard.
The answer is obvious, but achieving that perfect tone is not as simple as it sounds.
Why tone is the key to your cold email strategy
The tone of your cold emails should never be an afterthought. Here's why:
Tone determines first impressions. Subject lines earn the open, but tone keeps readers engaged after they open your email. Consider that most people scan emails in just 11 seconds on average. With such a short window, the tone has to instantly signal relevance to keep prospects reading.
Tone builds or burns bridges. Ever get a salesy email that makes you want to hit delete? That's an overly formal tone triggering your mental spam filters. But too casual can undermine credibility. The right balance puts prospects at ease, so your message gets consumed.
Tone translates to engagement. Response rates aren’t just about the offer; they reflect how well you speak your audience's language. A tone that resonates can improve your response rates by up to 20%. Fail to strike the right note, and your message could be ignored, no matter how enticing the proposal.
3 strategies to nail your tone (so you can get more replies)
1. Navigate the spectrum from casual to professional
Every email lands somewhere between casual and formal. The best cold emails find their place on that spectrum based on your message and your audience.
Formal, overly salesy language instantly triggers spam filters in prospects' minds. But entirely casual risks coming across as unprofessional, which is equally off-putting.
To strike the right balance, you want to sound like you're emailing a close peer, not a stranger. In the former, there’s an assumed familiarity and shared industry context. So lose the suited-up corporate-speak—unless your industry requires that. Usually, it’s more effective to introduce some warmth and personality with casual brevity.
Let's break down the spectrum:
Too casual:
Hey Will 👋 noticed your site traffic is solid but list growth looks slow haha
Think there’s a specific reason you’re not converting visitors?
Would love to chat, man
While this might seem friendly, it lacks professionalism and can be too informal for a first-time interaction. (This may work for a certain type of person, but not most.)
Too formal:
Good morning Mr. Jones,
My analysis of your website traffic indicates healthy search volumes; however, subscriber acquisition appears suboptimal. Are you struggling to convert website visitors into email list subscribers?
This one sounds like it belongs in a 19th-century correspondence, not a modern-day sales pitch. It's impersonal and could make readers feel disconnected. The sad part? There are a lot of cold emails, in 2024, that read like this.
Just right:
Hey Will—
Your site gets a ton of traffic (congrats!), but I noticed your subscriber list isn’t keeping pace. Got a minute to discuss strategies to bridge that gap?
Just a thought. Let me know if you’d ever like ideas on how to tackle that.
Friendly yet professional—this tone assumes a level of familiarity without overstepping, and it invites a conversation rather than pushing a hard sell.
Here are a few ways to create a casual-professional tone in your cold emails:
Use contractions and colloquialisms like you're, don't, or let's. They make your language economical yet casual like you’re having a conversation.
Use shorthand for company names and commonly used terms. For example, “JS” for JavaScript, “Lead gen” for lead generation, or “JPM” to refer to JP Morgan Chase. These can help your emails feel industry-relevant.
Emojis: A smile can go a long way, but remember, you’re not texting a friend. Use them judiciously.
Share a personal anecdote or human experience if relevant. This builds rapport and makes you more relatable.
Industry jargon: Only if it’s appropriate. It can signal insider knowledge, but overuse it and you’ll sound like you’re trying too hard.
2. Blend confidence with approachability
Confidence projects competence, but overconfidence can seem arrogant and push people away. The most effective emails artfully combine confident assertions with thoughtful curiosity.
For example, after clearly stating your value proposition, ask an intelligent question:
"I noticed your sales team is lean this year compared to 2021. Have you found it tough to scale outreach effectively given headcount constraints and ambitious revenue targets?"
This shows you know your stuff without coming across as pushy.
Other ways to soften confidence with approachability:
Use hedging language: "That likely means..." instead of overstated declarations
Use passive voice occasionally or conditional phrases like "if/then." For example: "If budget allows, would a quick call make sense?"
Invite conversation: Instead of stating facts, ask questions that invite dialogue.
Soften language: Phrases like “It seems like…” or “You might have noticed…” can make your assertions less confrontational and more engaging.
The key is avoiding assumptions that provoke disagreement. Blend confidence with curiosity about their worldview to make your outreach land.
3. The power of tentativeness
Sometimes, admitting you don't have all the answers can actually be more persuasive.
Consider this approach:
“What about retargeting, Francesco? From the tech stack I see on typefully.com, it looks like you have no way to tell who’s spending time on your site (unless they volunteer their info).
One of the playbooks we run is to use IP matching to uncover the companies behind anonymous website visits. So you can know when ideal accounts are showing intent to buy. And act on it instantly.
I imagine this would work really well for Typefully.
I’m Matt by the way. And I build AI-supported outbound machines so founders can focus on closing business :)
Would it be crazy if we found some time to chat about this next week?”
Expressing uncertainty makes it easier for the recipient to engage without feeling pressured.
Embrace the maybe:
Ask, don't tell: Pose hypotheses or questions rather than making absolute statements. This invites the recipient to contribute their perspective.
Use conditional language: Phrases like "If I'm seeing this right..." or "Perhaps there's an opportunity here..." can soften your approach and foster a dialogue.
Admit room for discovery: Acknowledging that you don't have the full picture can encourage the prospect to share their insights, making them feel valued.
Refine and evolve your tone
Mastering tone in cold outbound is crucial for cutting through the noise and sparking more replies. Avoid being too formal or salesy. Strike a casual yet professional tone. Temper confident claims with tentativeness to avoid turning readers off. To hone your tone:
Review and reflect: Analyze your most and least successful emails. What tone did they convey? Learn from patterns that emerge.
Experiment and adapt: Adjust the tone in your upcoming emails. Monitor how small changes affect engagement and iterate based on results.
Double down on what works: Once you find a tone that clicks, standardize it across your communications—but stay flexible to further refinement.
Want to perfect your cold email tone but not sure where to start? Reach out to our team for a personalized strategy session.
